Anger & Divorce: the story of Emily & Chris
Divorce is never an easy process, even for couples who make a mutual decision to separate. Sadly, a lot of ugly feelings tend to come to the surface when one party initiates, and it is natural to be angry after divorce. You can’t hold onto that though because it will eat away at you. Learning how to let go of anger after divorce is an important part of the overall healing process.
In the fictionalised scenario below, we will walk you through how our divorce coach would guide you through a particularly challenging situation.
Emily & Chris
When Emily married her high school sweetheart, she didn’t see his betrayal coming. Over the course of their marriage, she has forgiven his behaviour too many times and she finally decided she was done with being treated like a doormat. She realised she deserved a partner who loved and respected her and who was willing to put in what they take out. Unfortunately, Chris wasn’t that man. He has lied, cheated, hidden money, and that was just what she knew about. She knows she can’t trust him, but she doesn’t know where to go from here, especially after dealing with so much anger and bitterness after divorce.
Taking your divorce to court can be an expensive process. It isn’t just the stress of arguing over the details or pushing for what you’re worth, it’s the stress of watching what it can do to your children and your wallet. It’s hard. It’s difficult to trust someone who has broken your trust.
Ultimately, the ideal outcome for Emily is that she is free of Chris and the lies and drama he brings, that she gets her fair share, and that she never has to deal with him again.
How realistic are her expectations? Well, Emily and Chris have two children, so they will have to maintain a co-parenting relationship. Whatever he’s done, he still needs access to his children and being fair about how that unfolds is key to limiting Emily’s interactions with him.
Moving Forward with a Divorce Coach
A divorce coach will ask a series of questions to understand your priorities.
- What do you view as fair?
- How important is a quick and easy process?
- How important is it that you minimise your legal costs?
- How important is the long-term daily experience for your children?
The process is about recognising you are unable to control anyone’s actions but your own. Emily can’t control Chris or how he tries to navigate the divorce process. She can only do her best to minimise how that behaviour impacts herself and her children. She might not feel as though he deserves her kindness in coming to the mediation table, but she does deserve to be free of him as quickly as possible. Emily doesn’t deserve the stress and costs that come with the court process. Emily’s children don’t deserve to deal with an angry, bitter, stressed-out mum, even if her feelings are valid and justified.
The Best Revenge is ...
Ultimately, the best revenge Emily can get is to live her best life. The best way to get to that point was by avoiding court and coming to a family law agreement in mediation with Chris. With a law firm fighting on her behalf and providing her with the support she needs, she can get her fair share and hasten the process.
Emily might not be real in this scenario, but there are many Emilys all over the country, all of whom are struggling with anger and divorce.
At Divorce Hub, we are passionate about helping you start the next chapter in your life. We aren’t just here to help you get your fair share; we won’t just help you avoid court. Our services are specifically designed to help you navigate all the changes you are experiencing in your life as a result of your divorce.