Too often January is when tensions over the Christmas and New Year period boil over when the bills arrive to add to the stress. Family lawyers find the phones ringing hot with couples wanting to separate.

January can be a crazy time so it’s crucial couples contemplating a separation should first get legal and if necessary financial advice before they make life-changing decisions.

The Divorce Monday tag originated in Britain but in Australia it is more like January being a divorce month. We have the same experience as UK lawyers with a marked rise in inquiries and instructions from clients who want to start the New Year separate from their partner.

Pressures building over the holiday period contribute to this, especially financial pressures.

The ‘new year resolution’ impulse to start afresh and separate should be very carefully thought through. I urge couples to go to counselling and seek legal advice before making any final decisions.

I have had clients who have decided to get back together and work on the marriage, when they realise the picture they face. Divorce has a huge financial impact on a family.

Realising that they may not see their children for a week or more at a time, sometimes makes parents re-think their decision to separate.

Once a decision to separate is made and conveyed to your spouse, it can be hard to take it back.

Divorce is an enormous life-altering decision especially if children are involved and it makes sense for couples to get proper advice first before they do anything.

Obtaining advice before you communicate your decision leaves the door open to stay in the marriage, if the advice shows you could have a difficult future.

And by advice I don’t mean family, friends and Facebook pages. There are community legal centres available offering free advice for those who cannot afford it.

We offer fixed fee initial meetings so you can make an informed decision about your future. It enables you to find out about options to finalise the legal aspects of your separation without conflict, including options such as Mediation and Collaborative Law.

I strongly advise people to go to counselling before making a final decision. There are many private counsellors as well as community organisations such as Relationships Australia that can assist you to work through issues. Even if you don’t want to have couples counselling, it can be helpful to talk through the issues and get through the stress of your divorce, with the support of a counsellor.

If your spouse suggests counselling, don’t be an ostrich or dismissive of the issues raised. Take it as a sign that there are serious issues to discuss but your spouse is committed to trying to work through them. Yes, you might have to deal with some confronting issues, but ask yourself, “is it worth it to save my marriage?”

Above all, keep the kids out of it and if you are committed to separating, use Collaborative Law to minimise the impact on finances and children rather than going to Court – which should always be a last resort unless there are special circumstances.

Contact us on 1300 SEPARATE to make an appointment for a fixed fee consultation to discuss your options.

The information in this article is general information only.  It does not constitute legal advice or financial advice.