I am a lawyer. A family lawyer. A proud family lawyer.
I do not apologise for my career. I worked really hard to get that admission certificate. I was the first person in my family to go to University. We moved to Far North Queensland in 1987 just before “the recession that we had to have”. My parents battled through 2 cyclones and the Pilots’ Strike, running a tourism business. Not so many people wanted to come to Cairns on a Hercules…. They worked hard to support our family and always supported my education. It was actually my Dad who suggested I become a lawyer. I didn’t want to “It’s all about money for them” I said. I wanted to be an investigative journalist. But Dad saw me on the school debating team and convinced me I could do it and that actually, it’s not about the money.
And he was right.
I do not lie in bed at night feeling like I am a bad human being. I do not sit in my counting house, counting out my money, rolling around in glee. I am more likely to be making sure my child does school banking and understands the importance of saving – and that perhaps that is a better option than buying another set of Pokemon cards..
I do not believe that I take advantage of my clients and prolong their misery or that of their family, as some would like to think of family lawyers.
I actually take great pleasure in helping my clients through what is one of the most stressful experiences they will have in their lives.
I am heartened when I get Facebook posts or messages from past clients thanking me for helping them move through a really tough time.
Seeing my clients not only survive, but then thrive, gives me a reason to keep doing this, even though sometimes the long hours takes time away from my family. Last Mothers’ Day weekend I heard the words “I just want you to have a weekend where you don’t do any work…”
Dad, who encouraged me into this profession, gets to hear a lot more about it than he probably expected (or wants!)
I do a lot of training and study (at my own expense) to learn more about how I can help clients to get through their separation with the least amount of conflict and move forward in a positive way. It isn’t legal training – it is about neuroscience, mediation and collaborative practice. I also provide my time to train other lawyers.
Why? Because I know how absolutely horrific divorce can be for people who cannot manage their conflict. I have seen it in my family and my friends.
I am not sitting in an office overlooking the river detached from reality. I know what it is like to have your case in the Family Court. It’s awful. Actually, it makes you feel like you will vomit. You can’t stomach food and you feel like you are in a suspended reality. I know from personal experience what it is like to experience the delays of having 25-35 matters listed before a Judge, and freaking out about how you will get to after school care before it closes…
This is the reality of having a case in the family court system.
I am committed to conflicts being resolved without court intervention. Mediation and Collaborative Practice. Court has to be the last resort.
But enough about me… because there are a lot of other family lawyers out there. So, are they horrible humans rubbing their hands with glee when they go to court?
I thought I might share some examples of some of my colleagues and the things that they are doing (and believe me, these are only the ones I can think of quickly on a Friday night – there are many many more)
Kay Feeney of Feeney Family Law is President of Queensland Collaborative Law (I am on the committee). It is an association committed to Collaborative Practice – resolving conflict after separation without going to Court. In her spare time she is Vice President of the QUT Learning Potential Fund (LFP) Friends and Alumni Chapter. The LFP provides scholarships for students who are accepted to QUT but their financial circumstances are such that they could not afford to attend without financial assistance for textbooks, rental bond and other necessary expenses. She doesn’t get paid to do this.
Clarissa Rayward of Brisbane Family Law Centre has staged pantomimes over the years (involving many hours of rehearsals) casted by family lawyer and judges, to raise money for charity. She doesn’t get paid to do this. She also, is a Collaborative Lawyer.
Kara Cook of Cook Legal is a domestic violence advocate who puts her money where her mouth is, sponsoring charities that assist women and children escaping violent situations.
Tracy-Lynne Geysen of Couper Geysen Family and Animal Law founded BLEATS a group of Brisbane Lawyers advocating for tougher penalties for animal cruelty. She and those volunteer lawyers on the panel – including Queens Counsel (many of whom are family lawyers) – appear without payment for the RSPCA.
The Family Law Practitioners Association of Queensland established a pilot program with the Federal Circuit Court to provide pro bono (no cost) mediation to cases that would otherwise have gone to trial. Experienced Nationally Accredited Mediators, including solicitors and barristers, give up their time to spend a day assisting families to resolve their conflict. They don’t get paid. It costs them money for the work they could otherwise have been doing.
That’s not to mention the thousands of hours family lawyers give volunteering at Community Legal Centres every year.
But, that’s the thing about family lawyers. We really don’t want people to go to court, let alone stay in the system. We look for ways to keep them out or get them out.
So yes, I am proud to be a family lawyer.